1. “It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.”

2. “The last time I underestimated a puppy, I wound up in the pokey!”

3. “No, crazy is walking down the street with half a cantaloupe on your head, muttering ‘I’m a hamster, I’m a hamster.’”

4. “Of course I’m not crying, I’m British!”